How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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