just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
