Whod you bang
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
