Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
