Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
