I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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