I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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