I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
