I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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