The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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