So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
