Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
