Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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