U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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