Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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