we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My balls are so social today.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
