so that wasnt chicken after all
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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