the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Best friends brother. Beat that.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
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I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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