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I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
