as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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