I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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