my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
