Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
