I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
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Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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