Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
