Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
