my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
