ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
