i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
