nut hugger
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
