the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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