You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
