That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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