Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
