Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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