Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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