I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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