you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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