I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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