I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
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Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
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I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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