What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
