I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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