That's intense
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
