I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
