This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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