Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
