I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
