it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
