Where is the hickey?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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