nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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