Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
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I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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