Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
