he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
