Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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