Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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