Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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