What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
