I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
