Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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