Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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