he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
