covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize