theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
