How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
