i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you had me at cake vodka
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
