Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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