shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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