'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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