i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
