I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
