what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
