And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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