ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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